Tuesday, January 25, 2011

hey bloggy....... i know nobdy readz u.... so i wld lyk to tel u evryting im feelin..... im really lonely. im scared for maslf.... ma hormonez r jumpin in me accordin to each situation... im feelin sick . actually im tryin to b normal each n evrytym ... bt smetymz ma thoughtz ovrtke me n i fall apart... dere s nobdy to undrstnd me here xcpt god. im unable to xpress maslf nw. im scared of evry little ting arnd me. til strday i ws fine... i ws tinkin tat de day ws sooo good. bt 2dy i cried for de ntire day n dnt know y..... thoughtz abt tat guy s hauntin me each n evry breath i tke... i try to b normal bt smetymz i break down wen ma immunity to fight wid tat thought bcomez low.... he s supr normal infact he s lyk he nvr knew me smetymz... bt me?????? strday i saw a korean muvie "a moment to remembr".. in tat muvie de girl diez ot of alhzimerz disease which s a mental death... ppl vil slowly start forgettin as der neuronz degenerate... i wish i too gt such disease coz i wnt to erase each n evry thought related wid him... itz killin me evry sec .... dyin at once s bettr dan dyin each tym... at tymz im scared if i go physic... ma parentz love me alot bt i keep cryin for tiz asshole .... tiz s wad s calld as fate.... ma fate oly bonded me wid him n divided me wid him.... do i need councellin??? is ma condition so recked up tat i need a councellin...... god gve me chance to live!!!!! tat asshole spoilt ma lyf n tuk away ma happiness leavin me as a dead soul....nobdy cld undrstnd tiz.......... i smile wid tearz in ma heart evryday which s nt normal...


to b continued..................

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

im tired...im really tired of all those stuffz runnin in ma heart n mind.....fightin wid them 4 past 4 monthz n nw im really tired...i give up evryting, evry my hope n ma lyf....let nyting happen to me nw i juz dnt care.....nting is chnged into me.... n nting vil chnge into me...if nyting s lft into me s then itz full of thoughtz n pain..

wen vil it get dark 4evr in ma lyf,so tat i dnt get up evr!!!!!! god i give up!!

p.s: i trustd u 4 lovin me, 4 nt hurtin me, nt to leave me all alone, to b wid me evr,n nt to lie to me.... bt u lft me bhind wid oly tearz!
livin s hell.... i want to die as soon as possible.
i lost evry happiness tat i had, i lost ma love. im gonna miss all those sweet msgz tat mke ma day perfect!!!! nw wo vil tel me gd ni8 ma chweet shahi !!!!! ma dayz n nightz hve bcme the sme !! oly differnce s at ni8 i sit alone n at day i hve ppl arnd me...
waitin to die. prayin evryday to die!!!! i cnt live witot y**.
i give up.!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

heye....
i love tiz song.... tujhe bhula diya!!!!! itz lyk smebdy singin abt ma feelinz.......
tu hi mere liye ab kar dua, tUhi is dard ka kar dawa, teri hoke mein jo teri na rahi, tho khud se yeh kehti hoon,,,,,,, tujhe bhula diya ohhh ,phir kyun teri yadon ne , mujhe rula diya ohhh.....
NICE NAAAAAAAA!!!!1 LOL.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

heyyyyy... gd mrng!!!
bad newz clg reopened...... ahhhhh, evrybdy r cumin bck to clg wid a cold n broken heart... bt no choice!!! wad to do to do.... itz a pain in the a**....... ma frnd arrivd strday wid so mch of pain leavin evrybdy bhind.... i know itz de sme wid evrybdy.... itz gonna b tough 4 evrybdy to cme bck to de normal state 4 few dayz!!!!! tearz filled in evrybdyz eyez showz hw mch they hate tiz clg........

as if i love tiz clg!!!!! itz de mst hurtin place on earth 4 me..... i hve seen alot pain ,sufferinz, liarz, bitchin, abve all betrayin!!!!!! ppl chnge their mind lyk hw water has no direction!!! itz really really hard to trust the one wom u love the mst cuz itz gonna hurt the mst wen they ditch u!!! the mst imp s tat the one wom u lov vil b the frst one to hurt u in sch a way tat u wld feel tat dyin s bettr!!!!! trust me . itz 100% true. i hve been through tiz . i am still goin through tiz... leavin a small hope IN DE BOTTOM OF MA HEART tat one day they vil REALIZE....*ONE DAY*.
i spoke to ma frnd strday n askd her has she gained weight??? she said tat she s havin 5 chocolate a day den definetly she wld hve gained!!!! abve all the comedy a the day ws, she said tat she wld b goin 4 mrng joggin.... ha ha ha ha... gadhi pehle subah uth jana then think abt joggin.... lol....
tatz it 4 the day..... me really nt feelin tat good today...
vil write mre abt u gadhi nxt tym ....

lov u all!!!!! bye.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

  • half of ma heart is shot gun weddin to smeone with a paper and ring...
and half of ma heart is a part of a man who has never truely loved me!!!!!!! anyting.... bt i cnt stop lovin him ,cnt stop lovin u..........


i dint bleive in soulmatez untill i met u..... im tired so tired of everyting,of u , of me maslf.
all i ask is tat yearz from now wen v meet again,u vil still love me de way u did....
im sleepless bcoz of u ... bt i dnt mind.


u were my best frnd... hw i lost u i vil nvr und coz u r way byond tat now to me....
smetymz i juz wanna b done wid u, i know ,though,tat i wont even b done......

b4 i c u , i try to plan ot smeting to say.... someting to close de ever growin gap btwn us... wen i c u, i realize tat no amount of small tlk could ever bring us back to the way v were... wen u leave n i've said nting, all i cn do is CRY.....


do u ever look at old photos of us and wish it cld b like tat again de way tat i do?????

i vil nvr let ur head hit the bed witot my hand bhind it,u want love , v'll make it.

i love u ... even though you've never really loved me... and i miss u, even though u couldnt care less where i am.....

I PROMISE TO LOVE U 4EVER, CAN U PROMISE TO ALWAYZ B HERE?????


SMETYMZ LOVE S REALLY A 4 LETTER WORD,,,,................

P.S : I L O V E U , DO I DESERVE IT BACK?????












Monday, August 23, 2010

humko malooom hai iskh masoom hai.... dil seeeeee ho jati hai galatiyan, sabr se iskh mehroom hai!!!!!!!
heeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hello frndz...
hey h r u kamine????? ghar jake bhool mat jana!!!!! mein tere liye intezar karungi...... tk cr. love u loadz.....
p.s : cme bck soon!!!!!. bye.